Kovalam - The Blackpool of India

To escape the stifling, oppressive air of the ashram, we one more headed back to the beach. This time we set our sights on Kovalam - a small town with two main beaches edged with quaint, striped lighthouses.

We were dropped off back in the narrow alleyways that made up the majority of the town and we wove our way through them, checking out guesthouses and rooms, eventually finding our own little home, complete with a yoga friendly balcony, all for a little over fiver a night!

After unpacking a little, we took a walk and found the essentials - beer, food, cute kids and puppies.

Early to bed, early to rise and we definitely were. Both Debs and I were up not long after 7 and completed our first balcony yoga ritual = a walk past the beaches, a double dose of sweet chai and an hour or so of yoga. We were motivated and feeling good, but this didn't last for long.

The next morning we carried out a similar routine, however this time we went to an Indian teacher. The whole class was made up of a youthful looking Polish woman, an even more surprisingly young looking 83 year old French lady, Martine, Debs and myself. The teacher went through the usual breathing exercises, a few sun salutations and then jumped right in to headstands! It was more akin to yogarobics, but amazingly fun! We even did some laughing yoga which just involved walking around and forcing big, full bellied laughs.

After the energetic yoga session, we needed to head to the pharmacy to stock up on antihistamines and painkillers. A British guy, with hi two sons, offered us a lift on his motorbike and not fancying the steep climb we eagerly accepted.

From the moment I got on the bike I knew the ending would not be pretty! I was basically sat on a metal shelf at the back and there was no space for either Ameel or Debs to scooch forwards. When we started to climb the hill, the bike skidded on gravel and we all went flying from the bike. I hit my head, Ameel cut his legs (and gave a rather obscene show to onlookers and he seemed to have gone without underwear) and lucky Debs came away uninjured!

The bump on my head quickly developed into a cartoon like protrustion, sticking out a good inch and a half from my head! Given my newest ailment, we jumped in a rickshaw, picked up supplies and headed quickly back to the room. I spent the next four hours holding a sarong full of ice to my throbbing skull.

Soon enough, the lump was soothed, however a gigantic, galactic bruise appeared on my leg! One thing was clear - I was out of the yoga game!

Debs went once more but we quickly resigned ourselves to lazing on the beach, feeding puppies and avoiding the critical eyes of Martine!

After 4 days of pure laziness, we started to make plans for a cultural excursion to Kanyakumari - the Southern most opint of India.

Unknown to us, there were more injuries, Indian curiosities and adventure awaiting us.

Yoga Prison (A.K.A Sivananda Ashram)

When I set out to India, an ashram experience (basically a centre to practise yoga and meditation away from worldly distractions - spiritual, calming and gentle) was pretty high on my to do list, but what I found was so disappointing. Almost all aspects of Sivananda's 'yogacation' seemed like a money making, controlling, stifling, almost brain washing set up and though I wanted to stick it out, I realised I was wasting my time feeling more angry and more discontent. Here's a little of what happened during my four days there...

Still feeling the sinful pull of luxury travel, Debs and I opted for a rickshaw instead of a public bus. We knew it was 300 rupees well spent as the rickshaw trundled up the steep hill we would have otherwise been walking up!

Upon arrival at the ashram , we were given the usual sign in forms along with a medical sheet, rules and a hefty timetable. Soon after, we were handed piles of bedding and taken to the 20 bed form. At first it seemed pretty cushty, but after 10 minutes or so I started to noticed how rude and negative the people were there. I had envisaged a really peaceful, positive place, so this was a massive shock.

Our first real introduction to ashram life was dinner. For maybe ten minutes, we all queued outside and then the chanting began. "Hari Khrishna, Hari Khrishna." The chanting continued until the dinner hall was full, then we had to freeze wherever we were and listen to the prayers. From then on dinner time was silent. We ate on the floor and sat knee to knee with a metal thali tray balanced on our laps. You could get more of anything you wanted, but with only half an hour to eat and at least two rounds of people to get through, eating was done quickly.

After dinner, we had to buy yoga supplies - mats and trousers, from the ashram shop and then attempt to work out what was next.

Honestly, I wish we hadn't worked it out...next was our first satsang. Satsang was our twice a day meditation time. It started with silent meditation, which included a waft of burning tyre incense to the face! Then a good chunk of chanting to the Hindu gods, and in the evenings we ended with a lecture.

This first night was a soft introduction as we just had to sit through meditation, chanting and 90 minutes of people displaying their skills in 'Ashram's got talent'. Some were incredible, we saw acro-yoga and heard some amazing singers, but some were just plain awful and I wanted nothing more than to climb in to my little bed.
   By 10pm, I was practically sleeping cross-legged, a tricky skill. When we were set free at around 10:30pm, I almost ran to bed not knowing that the dorm nazis had enforced a fan ban! I sweated, tossed, turned and just as I dropped off I was rudely awoken with a couple of clanging hand-bells to the face. Apparently, this was the standard treatment for those still in bed by 5:30am.

I managed to drag myself out of bed, wash my face and set off for the first morning satsang. Unsure of what to do and where to go, we wandered around cursing the ten extra minutes in bed we could have had. Finally, us newbies were rounded up and told that meditation that morning would be a walk - a very gentle and easy introduction to the ashram.

We walked through the local village for around thirty minutes, until we came to a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains. Unfortunately, as soon as we arrived at this tranquil spot, the chanting began again.

We suffered through 4 or 5 long chants before heading back for morning tea and our first two hours of yoga. It was sweet, delicious chai and knowing this was the only pre-yoga energy I would get, I downed as much as possible!

We headed to the yoga session and our teacher was a wonderful happy Indian man who explained what we were doing and why. Apart from the incredibly long time spent rolling our eyes about, this was my favourite time of day.

From yoga, we headed to brunch, chanted, ate and escaped as soon as possible to enjoy our little fragment of free time! Debs napped and I lazed around in the garden, just happy to not be under the strict regime 24/7.
   The first real day became even lovelier when the 2pm lecture was cancelled and nap time could continue!

Sleep was soon interrupted by the next scheduled yoga session. It seemed our second session would be run by three trainees. One of whom, the leader, had an incredibly sing song voice and his call out for annn-kullllss during relaxation always had me in fits of giggles.

Dinner passed quickly and soon it was time for the much dreaded evening satstang. It was full power too! Thirty minutes of silent meditation, thirty minutes chanting and an hour long lecture about a mystery topic. It's fair to say it didn't hold my attention. Bed was the only thin I could think about and once more, when we were released, I ran back to the dorm.

Before I knew it, the bells started again. This time morning satsang showed its true colours! We were ushered into the hall, asked to sit "comfortably" with crossed legs and a straight spine and bombarded again. Meditation. Chanting. Back-ache. Chanting. Lecture. The only positive thing for me was the sound of roaring lions that could be heard during the meditation, but I then had to struggle not to tap Debs and ask if she heard!

The day continued as the previous one - tea, yoga, brunch, yoga, dinner, satsang, but we had the addition of our initiation, a reinforcement of the rules, the dishing out of Karma Yoga jobs, fittingly, I received the role of librarian, and finally an extra afternoon lecture, this one of the roots of yoga.

I managed to hide out during the lecture, but wasn't so clever when it came to the evening satsang. Instead, I had to endure the usual routine, plus a painful hour long talk on ayuverdic medicine. Although I wasn't particularly enthralled, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the bloke giving the talk as almost half of the people there spoke over him, played on their phone and were generally ignorant.
He was so distracted that he stuttered, repeated himself and finally gave up. I felt terrible for him, but relieved that I could stand up, lay down or do something other than sit cross legged on the floor!

The next day went on the same way and it was beginning to drag me down. I never thought I lacked discipline until I was put in to such a strict environment. When it came to the third evening's satsang, I couldn't take it anymore and hid in the toilets whilst everyone else was rounded up! Those 2 precious house were blissful.

On our final day, we went to morning satsang and decided it was all too much. We agreed to do one more yoga session and then make our great escape!

Getting out wasn't hard, but it wasn't exactly simple either. You needed and exit card to get past the security car and that meant paper work.

Eventually, we were handed our 'get out of jail free' cards and headed for the bus. First Trivandrum and then Kovalam - beach number 2!

The Pleasure Before the Pain...

 I initially thought Indian trains would be much comfier than Indian buses however this theory was tested and proved wrong on the trip to Trivandrum, the capital of Kerala. First of all, we had to wander the narrow corridors searching for seats, all the time trying not to hit those near the aisle with my always growing back pack! Then, when we'd found seats, it was not only a struggle to fit my admittedly sizable bum on the bench, but also we had to wrestle our backpacks and bags in to the space too!
   I spent most of the journey with my feet resting on the elderly man across from me, which he thought was hilarious and wasn't happy whenever I tried to move them. Unsurprisingly, both Debs and I had cricks in our necks and achy backs by the time we alighted, but no worries, we were heading somewhere special!

Our first mission was to buy newspapers, our latest indulgence, and breakfast. We ate in the Indian Coffee House which was housed in the most amazing building! A huge spiral with gorgeous fretwork windows and a never-ending stream of tables. The food was delicious too, all served by men in traditional uniforms. In true Indian style, these were incredibly smart, but all white and every single man was incredibly grubby.

After finishing breakfast, we jumped in a rickshaw to our luxurious hotel. It was glorious. Door men opened the large glass doors for us (something we later find we actually couldn't do without ruining the carpets!) and seeing the pool was, I imagine, how a camel feels when he sees an oasis in the desert - filled with sweet, sweet relief. Our room was the nutella on the pancake, minus the view anyway, gigantic pillows, fluffy duvets and my favourite thing - a bath tube!
  I probably spent the first hour and half lounging around the bath, listening to music and drying my hair with an actual hair-dryer.

When we finally took a stroll to explore the city, I instantly fell in love.  It had an intoxicating mix of beautiful temples, modern shopping malls and delicious food. Our first stop was to explore some of the delicious food. We went to Azad's and ordered the famous mutton roast. It was incredible. People say India is for vegetarians, but the meat! So slowly cooked and tender with perfect spicing! More please!

From there, we wandered through the streets, dipping in and out of malls and spending an incredible amount of time buying flannels in a supermarket.

On our wanders, we also passed two temples, both completely different. One was a towering stone building, peaceful and glowing in the sunset; the other was strong, dark marble - a busy hive of coconut tossing and bare chested planking!

We slept like the dead, feasted on gigantic thalis and left ready for our ashram experience...or so we thought.

Returning to Thuravoor

On our return to Thuravoor, we were greeted with hugs, smiles and kisses from baby Emma. It truly felt like we'd arrived home!

Unfortunately, this was the start of bite week! Almost every other day I was waing with a new random swelling. First my eye, then my finger and later, in Kanyakumari, my head!

I sulked, pouted and refuted to remove my sunglasses for the best part of 12 hours. This doesn't men I was in hiding, it was a very busy day and apart from a trip to the pharmacy, there was a cake to buy and a hairdressers to test out! The cake buying was simple, the hair dresses not so much! We stumbled upon the salon after canoeing to the village and when we saw the hairdressers chair and sink, both of us immediately booked in! A bit of pampering to cheer me up...or not!

Debs went first and was told to stand facing the sink, with her head tipped over the edge. She was ferociously scrubbed and shampooed, but not conditioned. The lady then attacked Debs' hair with the finest comb, leaving it tangled and knotty, before sticking in a handful of 90s style wet look gel. I'm almost certain Debs and I had the same aghast look on our faces! Her hair was then half blow dried flat to her head and she was sent on her way. I was next...

Using my eye as an excuse, I encouraged the hairdress to use the sink and chair properly, asking if I could go backwards. I wish I hadn't bothered, she pulled out a little stool and I had to assume a half crouch, half back-bend position and maintain it throughut the hair wash. From there, I was subject to the same treatment as Debs, until the power cut right before my blow-dry! It was restored within 10 minutes and I was transformed into a fluffy puppy!

With our hair freshly washed, my eye slowly deflating and a new bottle of rum, there was partying to do!

There was the usual birthday shennanigans - light show, "comedy-drama", songs from the children, drinks and lots of dancing - led by 4 year old Abel! One of my favourite moments of the night was popping back to the balcony to find Vickram, out boatman on the last visit and self proclaimed body guard this time, had drank maybe half a litre of Bacardi and was being tutted at by the ladies of the family! As he boated away, he slipped and fell in to the river! We were then told he'd be fine, until he got home at least as his wife wuld probably beat him with a stick, just because "that's what she's like."


We finished the rum and headed to bed.

We took a day for relaxation and then a day for exploration. We had to make sure we hadn't missed anything, so we set out on an afternoon boat trip to villages nar Thuravoor. Debs played volleyball with the children there, and I was inited to the house of a man with a hennaed red beard! I drank tea with him, his wife and their gorgeous daughter. Most f my time there was spent marvelling at their beautiful Singer sewing machine. It blows my mind that almost every household has one of these!

All of a sudden, Debs and I were whisked away by a man who wished to parade us around his family compound! Within 5 minutes, we'd met his sister, brother-in-law, cousins and newphews! As it was speeding towards lunch, we made our excuses and escaped as soon as possible.

By the next morning, Debs' ear was worsening again, so Mau too us to Ernakulum so she could get to a hospital and I could fix my "don't worry, my screen's really strong" cracked screen!



The hospital was modern, clean and pretty efficient. Being a foreigner, Debs was seen to straight away and had a long, antibiotic soaked wik threaded into her ear.

After replacing my screen and picking up Manu's laptop, we felt we deserved a beer! We headed to a top floor hotel bar with amazing views of the city and tiny rooftop which we snuck on to for a little while.

None of us were ready to head back just then, so we headed over to Fort Kochi for a few more beers and some food.

When we were ready to leave, it was far too late for buses or trains, so Sanjay, a friend of Manu's, kindly picked us up and drove us home.

On our final day and night with the family, we spent the morning with the kids before heading out for a sunset boat trip. Suku, the boat man, took us through paddy fields and up to the perfect sunset viewing spot. He even taught us how to make coir rope from coconut husks too!

As it was our last night, we got dressed up for an evening of beer and goodbyes. It was my evening to skips the queue at the beer cage, so Manu and I headed out on the scooter. When we got to the liquor shop, there was a sea of men either clutching bags or boxes, or waiting to be served.

I was ushered towards the exit and had to wait for the next few customers to be served before I could push my way through. The man serving quickly took my order and handed me a box bigger than the exit corridor! Thankfully, Manu was waiting to take the precious cargo and stow it in his bike.

We spent the evening on the balcony sharing beers and stories, and finally we said our goodbyes sometime after midnight. A couple of hours sleep and then we were ready for our 4:30am get up and the trip to Trivandrum!

Varkala - beach, bad gin and lepers!

After a 4 hour, cramped and bumpy bus ride, a drawn out negotiation and another half and hour in an even more cramped and even more bumpy rickshaw, we arrived at the north cliffs of Varkala. Although it was dark, I could hear the constant murmurs of the waves and was incredibly soothed to finally be at a beach.

We quickly found a bungalow, literally seconds from the cliff top, and headed out for food. What most shocked me was again how similar it was to Southern Thailand. This time though it wasn't due to the gorgeous scenery, which there was plenty of, it was because of the bustling shop fronts and sheer amounts of people trying to hustle you into their restaurants! It was relentless and the tiny path along the cliff meant it was also unavoidable!

Three little words brought us to a stand still - "Gin and tonic!" After weeks of beer and lemon soda, a gin sounded like the perfect pre-dinner tipple. We ordered, along with a Thai green curry for Debs, and garlic prawns for me.

The gin came first, we took out first refreshing sip, only to find the gin, branded Amazon, did indeed taste like Amazonian river water. This should have been sufficient warning, however when the food came we tucked in with great gusto. Unfortunately for me the prawns were definitely off and I pretty much spat my first mouthful straight back out. There wasn't even an argument when I told the manager, he just nodded and removed my meal from the table and the receipt. Maybe we should have done the same with the gin...

I stocked up on nuts and crisps and headed to bed, the next day was for the beach!

We spent most of the next day lazing in the sand, drinking lemn sodas and wandering in and out of shops, before eating delicious Japanese food of all things! Topped off with a couple of mint packed mojitos. It was the perfect day.

The next day would be our last, we were getting the train from Varkala back towards Thuravoor, a place which was fast becoming our home and refuge. We'd decided to factor in a bit of a scenic detour, first to Kollam, next a boat to Alleppey, and finally a bus back to the farm.

First was breakfast in coffee temple. This place was just what we needed. They served proper coffee, thick brown bread and best of all - marmite! Just as we were about to leave, we witnessed a brilliant moment! We'd been watching a crow play with a fish head in the trees, and just as a couple in front of us placed down their coffees, the crow dropped the fish head and it landed right between them. Crow, knowing he was in trouble, quickly flew away, leaving Debs and I looking like guilty fish head pelters! We tried to explain, but were too caught up with the giggles!

When we made it to the train station, we were greeted by a heavily bandaged leper. I made my excuses and tried to dash though Debs reassured me he probably wasn't contagious. In my eyes, if someone has furry lesions and bandaged fingers and toes, I'm not taking the risk! We picked up our ridiculously cheap tickets - maybe 50p for an hour long ride, and set off squidged in with a group of studious college girls.

It was my first experience of Indian trains and it was surprisingly calm and easy. We alighted at Kollam, grabbed a newspaper and headed for the boat.

The boat ride was 8 hours long, so it was pretty important that were were stocked up. As soon as we'd got our tickets, we marched in to town, swiped a selection of fruit and sweets and quickly ran back to get some of the last seats on the deck.

The boat ride was peaceful and slow, the perfect place to really get in to my book and watch the world go by. We stopped for lunch in a tiny little village with one restaurant and one shop. With all that choice, we settled for thali and fish fry - a tiny mouthful of fried river fish. It was admittedly delicious, however nobody had even though to ask the price an we were amazed when they asked for 200 rupees each! It doesn't sound like much, but generally in such a small place it wouldn't cost more than 80!

After a leg stretch, we headed back on to the boat for another 4 hours of rest, reading and slow tempo life.

We docked in Alleppey a little after a gorgeous sunset and I was feeling particularly pleased that I'd opted to spend my time in the backwaters in Thuravoor as opposed to the crowded, loud and overbearing Alleppey.

After a mad dash for a certain birthday boy's celebrations, we were back on a bus to Thuravoor.

Kochi...Again!?

From Munnar, we took a local bus back down to Kochi and jumped off close(ish) to the ferry port. About half-way to the hostel, we came across the cutest group of street girls who were collecting bottles to recycle. They wanted money obviously, and bras too, but instead of giving money or things they would sell we took them all out for dinner and had a little fun. This evoked wildly different reactions from the locals - some took photos, others tutted and scowled!

Selfie courtesy of Debs : )

After our dinner of yummy chaat - basically a crunchy samosa and a bit of everything and anythings that's bad for you smooshed up on a plate, we found the ferry, got attacked with henna stamps and made our way back to the Fort area.

In the evening, we met up with a few friends from my last time in Kochi and, being locals, they knew how to avoid the police shut down time! They took us to a fisherman's beach which was absolutely beautiful - peaceful and untouched. Even better, we saw a little turtle scurrying about on the way there!

The next morning we headed out for coffee and banana fritters - our standard Kochi breakfast, before meeting Naas, a rickshaw driver with a very cheeky nature, for lunch and a lesson in Uno - India loves Uno!

As it was our last night in Fort Kochi for a while, we decided to have a bit of a celebration. This was made even easier when we discovered an amazing shopping mall with a giant supermarket selling sparkler candles, toys and face paints! We secretly brought our new purchases, plus a cake from a local bakery, to an amazing seafood dinner with Naas (I caused great amusement here during my first real attempt at eating crab), and eventually to Vedanta Hostel where we'd stayed the last 2 times in Kochi. We took over the kitchen and prepared the cake, making sure we'd rounded up the maybe 4 awake people in the hostel!
     Indians love a sparkle and the cake went down a treat, or the candles did, most of the cake went to a ridiculously friendly pack of dogs! It was the perfect parting evening and I was happy to be leaving Kochi for more than just a few days.

Finally, we were heading to the beach!

Into the Wild...

On return, Fort Kochi seemed as hectic and crazy as London in comparison to the relative solitude of Thuravoor! It was good to be back though and straight away we headed to discover more of the Biennale art festival.

The day passed by in a blur and before we knew it we were in a rickshaw and on our way to Thattekad - 70km away! In England we'd cover that distance in no time, but in India, in a rickshaw, it took 3 hours...Nas, a friend of Debs, offered to drive us and he made sure he took us all of the way up a bumpy, rocky dirt path right to the guest house door!

Lonely Planet describe Thattekad as 'worth a trip' and even wrote a special feature on it, but honestly it was like a tropical Clumber Park! Pretty enough, but not spectacular and with some true Indian elements...

A local tribe of monkeys woke us each morning.

We found one of these not so long after arriving. Debs wasn't well, so Megan and I travelled off in search of the glorious wildlife we'd been promised. Instead, we were photographed constantly and then stumbled upon an "Animal Refuge." It was truly tragic. The animals' cages barely allowed space for the animals to flap, crawl or walk and despite tons of spare cages they'd been oddly paired up. One cage contained both owls and monitor lizards, another held a fully grown chicken with a snake!

We meandered back from our walk just in time to be served tea - a delicious Thali meal which we ate in the company of a racist, spice hating Brit couple and an elitist family from Delhi - the conversation was interesting to say the least!

Through the evening Debs became worse and early the next morning she was taken to a convent hospital and was treated by a group of nuns! Oh India!

Megan and I took the chance to have another walk, this time avoiding the caged animals and going in to some private forest area. The "hike" was easy and we saw lots of lizards and spiders before coming across a beautiful spot overlooking the Periyar River and gorgeous countryside.

In the afternoon we headed in the opposite direction and finally found some interesting birds - horn bills and tiny birds with huge tail feathers! We also came across a lot of teenagers having secret dates in the privacy of the forest and two men trying to steal spiky jack-fruit from the trees.

Back at the homestay, Debs had put on a brave face and was ready to head to Munnar - a hill station full of spice and tea plantations. Bags packed and ready, we hopped on another local bus and spent 5 hours veering round narrow bends edged by steep drops. Along the way, gorgeous views were punctuated with ominous skulls, not that this fazed the diver who would respond by putting his foot down and overtaking any vehicle in his path.

We arrived safely, dropped our bags in our new room and went to explore. The town was busy, fast paced and colourful. I drank it all in, for the first time I felt like I was in India - although with hindsight Munnar was incredibly peaceful!

We ate at a restaurant called Rapsy - they crammed 8 or 9 people around tables for 4 and made you write down your own order, but it was seriously tasty! We ate the most tender beef and I threw caution to travel advice and tucked in to a huge salad, thankfully with no bathroom based repercussions.

After eating, and in an attempt to be cultural, Megan and I went to watch Kathakalli theatre and Kalaripayat martial arts. We arrived in time to see some of the make-up process which should have indicated just how bizarre an evening it was going to be! Layer upon layer of green and orange paint was pasted on to two young boys' faces and bells were attached to pretty much anything that could be jangled!

We quickly moved on to pick our seats and waited for the show to start. We were in for a long wait! The first 30 minutes were made up of a man looking in different directions and raising his eyebrows whilst another man shouted random English words - apparently we needed to remember these to understand the story...Finally, we were given a short synopsis - the play was about a woman who tried to seduce a demon, unfortunately for her the demon took great delight in chopping off her ears, nose and boobs! A delightful family play!
     A musician drummed and sang so atmospherically that I forgot about how ridiculous the whole art form was. Not to worry though, the green demon soon stomped on to stage before I had time to really appreciate anything. One thing I really admired was the length of time one of the characters spent with his tongue sticking out of his mouth - literally ten minutes!

With the actors out of the way, the real show began. Six men flipped, kicked and jumped their way in to a pit below us. They performed a small puja (fire prayer) before giving the most incredible display of what can only be described as aggressive, fighty yoga, each round accompanied with different weapons.


The next morning, we headed out on a tour of the area. We'd requested a fun driver and when the rickshaw arrived blasting out music, it seemed a good fit. We set off and quite quickly discovered that our driver wasn't one for following instruction as we saw the signs for our first 3 stops disappearing behind us. At first, this wasn't a cause for worry, it's India after all and we were enjoying the many cows decorated for Pongol, a Tamil festival which we didn't really understand, but hey - painted cows! We went with it for maybe 25km until we reached Lakkam Waterfalls which were pretty small and unimpressive, however there was a troop of super cute monkeys playing near by.

We then drove maybe another 60km with just one stop for sugar cane, though none of us wanted it and none of us knew how to eat! We arrived at the next destination - Chinnar Wildlife Sanctuary. Estimated cost - 100 rupees, actual cost - 600 rupees! We also wasn't told that it was a 3 hour trek requiring sturdy footwear and sacrificing the other stops on our tour. Politely, we declined and instead made the stop in to a beautiful tea break, interrupted only by the arrival of 2 honey collectors. I adore honeycomb, but must say the sight of bee larvae wriggling through the holes did make me question how much I loved it!

Our next stop was another overpriced wildlife park, but we coughed up and went in. The park, Erivakulam, is famous for the apparently wild, elusive Tahr goats...this wasn't exactly true. After taking a bus to the base of a small mountain/big hill, we were immediately greeted y these wonder full cute goats with backwards bending horns. We took a gentle stroll to "the limit" - 2695 meters above seal level, before making our way back down.

When we arrived back to the rickshaw, we were told the tea factory was absolutely 100% closed. Regardless, we asked to go and the driver obliged. Even better, when we arrived the was no problem getting in. The factory was very curious;it looked incredibly old and whilst it wasn't a tea producing factory, it still did produce tea... Two moments did stand out though - the delicious, albeit alcohol free, fruit beer and Debs' glorious photoshopped mug!
At the end of the tour, we went back to the agency and had a stress-relieving row with the owner. He was defiant his prices were up to date and we got nothing more than the chance to argue, but that was enough.

When we arrived home, Debs' ear infection was still playing up and she told Benoy, the owner What happened next was one of the funniest things I've even seen/ Benoy made her sit on his bed with Megan and me on either side before asking her to close her eyes, presumably so she wouldn't have to suppress the giggles like Megan and I did! Benoy then slow-motion slapped Debs' head. To finish off, he hawked up a great load of phlegm, complimented her chakras and asked the pair of us if we wanted our chakras assessing...Reiki is definitely not for me!

For our farewell dinner, we headed back to our beloved Rapsys and had one more delicious beef - nom!And, because we were saying bye to Megan, we though it would be nice to toast to our little adventure with a cold beer. This meant a trip to the state liquor shop. Debs braved it and headed in to the narrow metal walkway which led to the beer cage. She came out proudly clasping her prize and despite a few detours in to hilarious shops with phones, lamps and photo frames combined, we headed home quite quickly to enjoy our beers.

On our final morning, we headed to our favourite breakfast spot - a real authentic and fast paced place, where our earlier hefty 60p tip made sure we were treated as VIPs! We ate a delicious breakfast of tomato and onion rice flour pancakes and said our goodbyes. I was definitely happy to say goodbye to the cold mountains!

Thuravoor A.K.A Paradise

The day had come to depart Fork Kochi and we had no firm bookings, just a recommendation from a small group who were soon to become our rivals! Originally, we were going to join forces and book a houseboat for a group of about 12 people however logistics became more and more difficult until Debs, a wonderfully decisive Scot and a girl eerily similar to myself, helped us ditch the surplus Aussies and hijack their boat!

The boat and farmstay that we'd be staying in was located in a small village near Thuravoor, only 2 buses away. We grabbed our bags and by some stroke of luck, or frequent buses, we didn't even have to wait a minute before we could jump on our first bus! It was a little cramped, a little crowded, but not at all bad! Just as our second bus dropped us off, Megan, who had sneakily lit up, was given a serious lecture and was told, with strong conviction, that her husband should force her to stop!

Thankfully,  we were rescued by a high spirited rickshaw driver. He squeezed all 5 of us, his bags and finally himself in to his little rickshaw and took us on a bumpy mud path through beautiful countryside. Finally, we reached our destination.

How many people can you fit in a rickshaw? 

It was advertised as a "farmstay', but honestly 'paradise' is about the only word to describe such an amazing place. There were around 10 rooms, all with incredible views and modified leg-rest deckchairs to enjoy them from. The 3 families running the business are amazing too, from the gentle, caring Manu who helps run the business, to the tiny terror Abel, who ensures you get your daily exercise playing football or throwing him about as he shouts one of his three favourite words: ball, no and giraffe.

: )

This was the start of four incredibly lazy, soul recharging days...

On the first day, we were taken on a small boat trip around the main lake area, given our first experience of the delicious food, took the first of many canoe trips and had the best night's sleep in a gigantic bed. J.P, a French/Derbyshire wine expert, accompanied me on a ridiculously disastrous canoe trip. After about five minutes plain sailing, we encountered a whole word of problems - for some reason we just couldn't go straight! First were the bushes, then the perfect snake dangling trees, and then, worst of all, the poo pipes! As we made desperate attempts to avoid Cholera City, a small girl on her way home noticed our dilemma and had two helpful solutions:
1) Ask our names
2) Alert the whole village to our situation

As we had only one oar, J.P was at the helm furiously paddling. A little boy kindly explained that was the problem. After more confusion, embarrassment and canoe charades, we worked out that if we spun to face the opposite direction our problems would be solved. We both executed a shaky rotation and set off rowing once more however smooth sailing did not last long! Before we knew it we were back in the poo pipes and I don't know whether it was J.P's hard work, the current or sheer luck that brought us back to dry land!

An afternoon in the village pub...

The next two nights were spent aboard the houseboat. This was probably the most peaceful experience I've ever had! No engines meant we were able to listen to the sounds of the backwaters and spend the days in a state of pure bliss. Vikram and Madhu, our boatmen, were excellent company, supplying us with delicious food and constant giggles. As part of our experience, we were taken to a quiet, peaceful beach with lively waves, introduced to the local liquor - toddy and taken on a tour round the local village. The days quickly passed and before we knew it we were saying goodbye to the two boys - J.P and Simon, who were both on tight schedules, but the 2 other ladies and I agreed it was too good to leave and stayed one more night.

Finally, reluctantly, we made the journey back to Kochi and started planning the next adventure...

Fear, Fort Kochi and Finding Paradise

Fear stops us from doing so many things, whether that's bungee jumping, falling in love or, as it seems for so many people, travelling. Before I came to India, almost everybody would give me that same shocked look when I said I'd be travelling in India, yes on my own! Even after arriving, other backpackers and locals too would ask the same question. I knew before I got here that there'd be scary, nerve-wracking moments, but why would you let the little hiccups ruin incredible opportunities?

My adventure started in the slightly chaotic manner that I expected from India however, at this point, I was still in Heathrow! 2 pat downs and an hour delay later, I was on my way. Normally I wouldn't complain about such a teeny delay, but unfortunately my flight connection was 55 minutes...I landed in Doha and was simply told, "Run!" Half-asleep and bleary eyed, I quickly made my way to the right gate to find it empty and closed.Thankfully, a wonderful little lady came and gave me V.I.P treatment, ushering me through the gate, past the queues inside and straight on to the plane - no security checks necessary!

On the 2nd leg of the journey more confusion ensued with seat swapping, shouting and a film-like announcement asking, "Is there a doctor on the plane?" Evidently there wasn't and the stewardesses were aimlessly running up and down the 2 aisles pulling faces and generally creating a bit of a panic.

After grabbing my bags and being put through stringent ebola related health checks, I buddied up with an Aussie nurse who shared my love of Rumi and was in India on a 2 year contract teaching medicine to Tibetan monks! We drank in the scenery for the hour long journey to Fort Kochi and I was amazed by how much it all resembled the South of Thailand - calm, blue skies dotted with lush palms. My face was starting to hurt from the constant grin painted across it! En route, we passed the 'Hospital for Piles' and 'PeePee Cafe'. Well done India!

Fort Kochi turned out to be a real arty, quaint area and whilst I visited a few of the usual touristy spots: the synagogue, churches and spice factories, I spent most of my time exploring different Biennale exhibitions. The festival celebrates all type of art and is only held every other year, making it pretty special. It was also incredibly diverse and well orchestrated. It also seemed to spill out of the exhibition venues on to the walls of the town and the town even has their own Banksy now.

Pungent ginger factory

On my final day in Fort Kochi (for a short while at least), a group of us took the 3p ferry to Vypeen Island and headed for the beach. The ferry was amazing - cars backed on until they were stopped with strategically placed bricks, pedestrians squeezed along the edges of the boat and finally motorbikes took up any last available space, often jamming handlebars in to belly buttons and other such places!

Gorgeous Graffiti between Fort Kochi and Mattancherry

At the beach, we read, slept, ate delicious seafood and generally lazed around whilst locals tackled each other in the water or cast out small fishing nets that trapped just enough to feed the family.

After 3 nights in Kochi, it was time to move on. I teamed up with 4 others from the beach and we sneakily hijacked another groups eco-houseboat plans. No engines, no fuss, just gorgeous views, tranquility and India's most delicious food! Unfortunate for them, but probably one of my best decisions to date!

Next stop Thuravoor, A.K.A Paradise. : )

xxx

A Weekend at the Lakes...

Within two minutes of stepping off the bus from Yangon, I'd hopped in a tuk tuk driven by a young teenager who looked like he'd stepped straight out of Quadrophenia. White jeans (with a generous splattering of mud), leather jacket, subtly styled hair. A very cool customer indeed. The tuk-tuk was jam packed with fruit, veg and even one woman's baby, perched atop the produce!
 

I was last to be dropped off but found my chosen guest house pretty quickly and had a serious nap before going out to explore the town. Like Yangon it was almost devoid of travelers and seemed very ghost town-esque. I wandered around the markets and the outskirts of town and started the very serious task of figuring out Myanmar food. Here was my first encounter with the set meal. 3 dollars down and with roughly 10 plates on the table I was feeling overwhelmed. With 3 of them figured out to be dried fish I put them to one side and started on the others - soy bean, veggies, chilli, curry, fried peanuts, rice and soup! All followed by my favourite - a dessert of pure sugar all ground up in a little sweet, which they claim is actually good for you!! The day ended pretty uneventfully, I fell in to a deep sleep before 10 knowing I had an early start

 

The next morning, before I'd even had chance to wipe the sleep from my eyes, I was asked to join a couple of French ladies on a boat trip. We set off with a lovely Italian bloke and headed out for Inle Lake. Although it was a day peppered with glorified tourist shops, the boat trip on the lake was more than enough to keep me smiling. We saw Myanmar's Venice, complete with leg paddling fishermen, people brushing their teeth in the river and a monastery with cats which (apparently) jump through hoops. Although they were all sleeping when we got there...
 

We got back fairly early, and unsure what else to do I fell back on the British staple - beer. Thankfully, Italy was a pretty perfect drinking partner. We got a table and a huge jug of beer in a local restaurant. After another jug the next stop, naturally, was a haircut for Italy. He bargained and haggled his heart away whilst I made friends with the hairdresser's son - through the universal language of games on my phone. We finally made it back to the guest house and was treated to a night cap of tea and nibbles with the owners and what I'm absolutely sure was a rendition of a You Me At Six song from a group of street roaming teens before another much needed rest. More earling mornings were to follow...




Delicious Indian food - no dried fish! : )